LEADERS' RULES

1. Don't ever contradict, challenge, or put anyone down at any time during a People Game. The people are only there to have a good time, meet other people, and feel free to communicate. Valuations on the part of the leader, although they might be true, serve no useful purpose, except to get the leader in trouble. Accept people as they are. If you have a problem with someone, see the chapter on "Handling Problems".

2. Always be in touch with what is going on. If you don't understand something, find out more about it. Communication without understanding is not communication.

3. Never put anyone on the spot. If you find that something you do accidentally puts someone on the spot, back off right away. People usually do not communicate as well when they feel challenged, even if they only imagine they are challenged.

4. Do not answer any of the group questions unless you are specifically asked to do so. It is too easy for the leader to become the "star" of the Game. Since the leader's charisma can tend to make others feel small, this rule removes the temptation.

5. Always respond to what people say or ask. The basic purpose is to promote communication. So the leader should always be available as a responsive communicator.

6. Create a favorable atmosphere for communication. The Games are designed to set up a favorable atmosphere for communication. However, the leader must add his own effort.

7. Never break up a team once they have started. Leaders may tend to get concerned about the balance of men and women. However, we have found that it is more important to leave people together once they have started a set. The sets are not very long, and latecomers simply get second choice. Only the leader himself can withdraw from a set to allow a latecomer to join.

8. Don't try to force anyone to do anything. The Games are not serious, they are meant to be fun. So don't put the game ahead of people having fun. The rules are there to help people have a good time, not to force them to do so. If an attendee doesn't want to play, he won't get anything out of the Game anyway, so don't try to make him play. The rules say he can answer any way he wants or not at all. If he wants to talk about something else with his partner, that's perfectly all right.

9. Never skip any part of the procedure or of the explanations. After you have run a game a few times, it is easy to get lazy and start omitting things. I've done it and I've always regretted it. There is always someone in the group who needs to hear an explanation or a rule again, even though they have been there before. And there are some people who assume that, if you don't say it again, it doesn't apply "this time".

10. Avoid monopolizing people. The Leader assumes that the attendees are there to meet each other; they are not there to meet the leader unless they specifically say so. Even if a particular person does want to chat with the leader, there will be other people who will want to chat with that person. So the leader should be polite and avoid taking up much of the participant's time. If the leader finds someone interesting and wants to pursue it, it only takes one minute to say, "I'd like to talk with you later; may I phone you?" This request is hardly ever turned down.

11. Do not change anything in the Games or add anything to the rules, format or procedure. In three (3) years of working with the Games we have tried many, many variations. Every point or procedure and every question was tested. It works, please stick with it.