COMMUNICATION
FIRST AID SURVEY
Many problems are basically communication problems, or at least include communication problems. Communication problems can be very complicated. However, recognizing the specific communication fault(s) can often make the solution obvious.
This survey can be done alone or with the help of a caregiver.
CAREGIVER
Talk over the instructions with your client or friend. And help him stick to it until he answers all of the questions with “Yes” or “No”. There are a lot of questions. However, each and every one of them can be a major stumbling block. The more “yes’s” there are, the more important it is to address them all.
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Print this page.
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2.Ask yourself or your client/friend the questions.
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3.Answer the questions by writing “yes” or “no” next to each question.
4. Then, go back over the “yes” answers, and it should be fairly obvious what to do about it. If there are only a few “yes’s” you will resolve this quickly.
If there are a lot of “yes’s” you will have a worthwhile job ahead of you. Be sure to consider “Who? What? Where? When? and Why?” If a certain individual or situation keeps coming up you will have a very good idea of what or whom to focus on.
There are a lot of questions, and there are a lot of things that can go wrong with communication. Many things can be wrong at the same time. If you take this seriously, you can really fix many of the problems you have in your life.
The questions always refer to “someone.” This means everyone involved, including yourself. It might also mean some other third party who is somehow connected. Watch for that also.
THE QUESTIONS
Was someone unable or unwilling to talk about something?
Was someone unable or unwilling to hear something?
Was someone unable or unwilling to be there?
Was someone unwilling for someone else to be there?
Did someone have a need or desire to be somewhere else?
Did someone avoid responsibility?
Was someone unwilling to be effected?
Was someone distracted?
Was someone unable to pay attention?
Was someone unwilling to acknowledge something or someone?
Was something not duplicated?
Was there not enough time?
Was someone tired, hungry, upset or ill?
Was something suppressed?
Was someone feeling suppressed?
Did someone say or believe something that was not true?
Remember, “someone” also includes you.
Did someone have trouble getting a word in?
Was someone afraid to talk about something?
Was someone’s attention wandering elsewhere?
Was someone abrupt or in a hurry?
Did someone switch the subject to something else?
Was something misunderstood?
Were there unknown expectations?
Were there unknown assumptions?
Where there unspoken plans?
Are there opposed intentions?
This may seem like too many questions. However, each and every one of them can be a major stumbling block. The more “yes’s” there are, the more important it is to address them all.
Was an agreement changed?
Was there no agreement?
Was something not revealed?
Was something unfinished?
Was someone emotionally upset?
Was someone doing something he really didn’t want to do?
Was there a hidden or different agenda?
Was something being avoided?
Was something neglected?
Remember again, “someone” also includes you.
Was something not heard?
Did someone wish he (or someone else) wasn’t there?
Was there somewhere else someone should have been or
wanted to be?
Was someone in a hurry?
Did someone “have to” be there?
Was the environment unsafe?
Was someone unwilling to say something?
Was there something someone didn’t want another to know?
Was there something someone felt another “should have known”?
Was someone talking to the wrong person?
Were there preconceived ideas?
Was someone afraid to say something?
Did someone forget to say something?
Was someone criticized for saying something?
Did someone want to be somewhere else?
Did someone have too many things on his mind?
Did someone have something more important on his mind?
Did someone pretend he was listening?
Did someone talk too fast?
Did someone think they meant something else?
Did someone already made up his mind?
Was something taken the wrong way?
Did someone wonder if he was heard?
As I said above, print this page. Ask yourself or your client/friend the questions. Check off the “yes’s”. Then, go back and look over the “yes” answers, and it should be fairly obvious what to do about it. If there are only a few “yes’s” you will resolve this quickly.
For more information about how to deal with this kind of problem click the links in the footer or heading of this page or email me.
Also see Essentials Helping Control Communicator
