IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT FEELINGS



•There are feelings we consider good and bad. Examples: Enthusiasm…anger…sadness…depression. And these feelings change based on circumstances.


•There is an impulse which can quickly change how a person feels. Examples: From happy to sad, or from sad to happy. The impulse is his consideration of succeeding or failing. Succeeding makes a person feel better; failing makes a person feel worse.


•There are behavior characteristics which go along with these emotions. The better you feel you are more outgoing and alert. The worse you feel you are more withdrawn and inattentive.


•This behavior characteristic alters your feelings. When you are more outgoing and alert, you tend to succeed, which makes you feel even better. When you are feeling bad and are more withdrawn and inattentive, you tend to fail and end up feeling even worse.


•When you are faced with an emotional situation, your feelings get in the way of solving the problem. It is best to handle the feelings first, before attempting to handle the problem.


•Feelings are triggered by whatever it is that one has his attention on. You can alter your feelings by re-directing your attention or by putting your attention on something else altogether. You can help others in the same way. (Future link: to Shifting Attention)


•Feelings are determined not by events, but by your thoughts about events. This is very important. Examples: You believe your partner is cheating you and you are angry even if he is not cheating you. You hear that your team had won the game and you are happy even though they actually lost the game.


•85% of your current feelings are out of date, i.e. they are hold-over feelings from past events. You can reduce negative feeling by 85% by separating or differentiating the past occurrences. (Future link to Separating)


•Aspirin doesn’t cure thoughts, nor does any other drug or medication.


•How can you use these facts? Look elsewhere in this site and/or email me. Don’t waste this valuable knowledge.


© Joseph Belotte 1991

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