UNDERSTANDING FEELINGS


by Joseph Belotte



WHAT DO YOU WANT? That's an interesting question. It seems there are as many different answers as there are people.


I took a survey a while ago attempting to find a common denominator, a single purpose that all people had in common, some one thing that everyone wanted. However, the more I asked what people wanted, the more different answers I got.


People wanted happiness, good health, new cars, big houses, good relationships, ski trips, pets, education, travel, money. The list went on and on.


So, I started over again, remembering what is perhaps the most powerful question in the english language. Each time a person told me what he or she wanted, I asked another question, "Why?" And, if the answer was just another one of those many thing, I asked, "why?", again. For example: if the person said, "money", I asked, "why?" If he then said, "to buy a home", I asked, "why?", again.


That was the key. Soon, I had what I was looking for. I had discovered the single, basic, common denominator. The final answer was always pretty much the same. Why did she want clothes? Why did they want the ski trip? Why did he want money, or education? Why did she want a good relationship? The final answer, in one form or another, was always, "because it would feel good!"


He wanted to collect stamps because when he collected stamps, he felt good. Another wanted to buy a new dress, because buying clothes made her feel good. The underlying purpose, for every human being, apparently, is "to feel good". The various methods of attaining the goal are all different, but the underlying goal was always the same.


Of course, the opposite is also true, and this fills out the picture even further. The opposite, of course, is "to not feel bad," and many people also find themselves focused on that. Some use drugs or alcohol, or go to doctors, or read escape novels in order to feel good. Others do those exact same things to not feel bad.


If you think about it seriously, I believe you will have to agree. You do what you do in order to feel good...or to avoid feeling bad.


Therefore, for nine years I focused on feelings. I studied feelings. I researched feelings. I found out a great deal about feelings, and I enjoy sharing what I've found.


I know that feelings are very important, although you may not have discovered how important they are yet. Therefore, on this site, I will talk about how important feelings are, how fully they effect you and how they relate to your purpose in life. I will discuss how feelings relate to each other, the specific mechanism that causes you to feel better or worse, the great liabilities of bad feelings, and some of the unsuspected benefits of good ones.


I will also discuss how your feelings get out of control and what you can do about it.


I hope that you will find it interesting enough to read. I know for a fact that it can have a great effect on the way you feel about things in the future and on the way you handle your life in the future.


Learn more:        WHAT IS IMPORTANT?