National Caregivers Month

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Caregivers are a brave bunch of people. Every day they face a no-win situation they cannot entirely understand. And they do whatever is in their power to deal with it. This is why our President, Barack Obama has instituted National Family Caregivers Month.


For these wonderful people, for National Family Caregivers Month, I wish to give back a little. I have some suggestions I have talked over with a number of caregivers and which can add to the support that they already have.


We discussed the possibility to “take a break”. For example, for four days every month the caregiver could (and should) take a vacation (if at all possible). Perhaps the patient could be shown how to do the minimal necessary self-care or some other people could be enlisted to look in on the patient and help when necessary. But, however it might be done, this is for the caregiver, for the mental welfare of the caregiver, to have (at least) four days off every month.


We also discussed something else: a short brainstorming session in each caregiver group meeting. A brainstorming routine as part of the caregivers group meeting might add something that could be fun as well as very useful.


Perhaps five minutes (no less) at an appropriate time during the meeting to just brainstorm fun things to do with each other (e.g. having brunch at Panera, visit to Dumbarton Oaks Park, etc) and/or with their cancer survivor (examples below).


A few brainstorming thoughts: (but you make up your own)


Perhaps download some of the TV shows or movies he liked. And say "Hey, we haven't seen these for a while. Let's look at them again."

Or, "Hey, let's go for a drive." and take him to a playground where four-or-five-year-old children are playing and just watch the kids.

Or, maybe sit and think about fun things to talk about. Here is an excellent fun-to-talk-about list you can’t go wrong with.


These are just a few ideas; the rest is up to you. You would be amazed at what group brainstorming can do and how much fun it can be in itself.


I think a caregiver has at least two roles. There is the serious role; I will call it a nurse role. The caregiver-nurse constantly focuses on problems and keeping things from going wrong. The caregiver-friend constantly focuses on various ways to make the last months or days more enjoyable. These are truly separate roles.


A caregiver being only a nurse is going to be constantly stressed. Just hanging in there is difficult enough and there are always new difficulties to deal with. But a caregiver, playing an additional role as a friend in this personal journey, can make the trip as good as it can possibly be for both.


Soon, this whole thing will be over, and this is your last opportunity to have a good time together.