HANDLING PROBLEMS

Following are a few notes which may be helpful in handling problem which might arise in a People Game. These notes are not meant to invalidate your own methods of handling problems, but are found workable in the People Game environment.

First of all, do not expect problems. They hardly ever happen in a People Game. But, by expecting them, it is easy to help them happen. By simply not expecting them, they are less likely to happen.

Do not resist problems. Relax. If a problem happens, the first thing to do is let it happen. Don't try to cut it off short. In that way, you, and everyone else, can see what the problem is.

Quite often, a problem comprises a communication that someone doesn't like. So, often, the solution is simple. Don't react to the "unpleasantness" of it. Listen to the communication. Understand what it is. Ask questions if necessary. Once you understand it, acknowledge it. Let the person know you understand. This gets it off the person's chest. He will feel better because someone listened, and that is usually enough.

Problems happen everywhere, at work, at play, indoors, outdoors, anywhere, and at any time, but for a problem to continue it usually takes participation. Most problems are things people have to work at. Thus, the leader knows enough to never join the problem. In all cases, follow the game rules 1, 2, and 3. Never invalidate anyone or put him/her down at a Game. And never put anybody on the spot. There is no need to do so. (People get enough of that elsewhere.) Always be in touch with what is happening, problem or otherwise. Willingness to be in touch, and thoroughness of understanding are perhaps the best tools anyone can have for handling problems.

It is actually not the purpose of the People Games to solve people's problems, only to direct them in a course that will make communicating easier and more fun. Since the leader is not set out to solve problems he merely sidesteps them by directing the person's attention from the problem area back into the positive course of the Game.

SIDESTEPPING PROBLEMS

One way that problems can be handled is by sidestepping them. After all, one doesn't have to always accept every problem anyone gives him. It is possible to put aside a problem by treating it as a communication digression. This is especially applicable to a People Game.

The People Game is a communication routine. It doesn't address problems. If a problem comes up, it is a digression from the game. And, normally, handling communication digressions is relatively easy.

STEP 1: Understand the digression. That is all there is to step 1. But notice that "understand" is intended as a positive, action verb. It isn't meant to mean "guess" or "assume". It means, "find out what the person has his attention on". It means investigate until you know what the person is communicating."

STEP 2: Acknowledge the digression. Once you are in touch with what the person is saying, let him know that you know. If some action is required and warranted, do it. But, that's all. Don't carry it any further. If you do you will put his attention right back into the problem again. And, if this does not handle it, you have not really done step 1, you didn't really find out.

STEP 3: Get back to what you were doing. Bring his attention, and yours, back to the Game.