Handling a Conflict
Handling a Conflict
CONFLICT
1. MULTIPLE CHOICES
INTRODUCTION:
The following material is based on one simple rule. The more alternatives you can think of the more likely you can find the best solution.
Following are things one could do in a conflict. Some of these will help. Some will make things worse. But, it is necessary to look at them all.
CAREGIVER INSTRUCTIONS
Print out this page. Explain the instructions to your friend or client. And help him stick to it until he decides which solution is best. Then, help him decide how to go about it. Hopefully, you can motivate him enough to try it.
If this doesn’t get him moving, then try Alternate Solutions (further below), which will boost his creativity and get him more involved in the idea of solving his own problem.
CLIENT INSTRUCTIONS
1. Check off all the items you feel you could do.
2. Choose the one that is the best for you right now.
3. Decide how to go about it. (Your caregiver can help.)
THE CHOICES
[ ] React (Act out - the same way you always did - and deal with
the consequences.)
[ ] Challenge (Fight back - and deal with the consequences.)
[ ] Resist (Stand firm, and never let it go.)
[ ] Retreat (Remove yourself from the situation.)
[ ] Relax (Physically relax, let the emotion pass through you.)
[ ] Wait (Put off responding for a period of time.)
[ ] Listen “I am listening. What else? I hear you. Is that all?”
[ ] Question (Learn rather than teach. Find out what’s
really happening.)
[ ] Respond (In a positive way)
[ ] Use house tools, or other standard, agreed upon tools.
[ ] Use a resource (Get help from someone else.)
[ ] Discuss (Talk it over with someone who is willing to talk with you.)
[ ] Sort it out (Figure out what is going on and what could resolve it.)
[ ] Circumvent (Find another way around the situation.)
[ ] Disregard (Don’t even consider it part of your life.)
[ ] Help (Your opponent is in trouble. Become a helper rather than
combatant)
And remember, different solutions work for different people. If you couldn't make this routine work, try Alternate Solutions. It will take more effort, but it will move your client much further through his decision making difficulties.