Anger is one of the most difficult emotions to handle. In times past we tried to repress it. Then, we tried to express it. Finally, we tried to forget it. The truth is, when you discover the hidden source of your anger, it could vanish.

Staying angry usually hurts you more than anyone you're angry at. You can learn techniques for neutralizing anger and making life a lot smoother.

What anger is:

Anger is an emotion which includes BOTH fight and flight, as well as fear, aggravation, and hostility. It's a condition where your own mind gets out of your control.

What anger does:

1. Anger makes you sick.

2. Anger creates more trouble.

3. Anger separates you from people.

4. Anger promotes more anger.

Is anger necessary:

Anger is a human emotion. Suppressing it or denying it usually makes it worse since it festers, grows and sometimes eventually explodes. Letting it continue only hurts you. Expressing it can be helpful, sometimes. But discovering what lies behind it can help you quench it.

What happens:

You lose your cool and you lose control. You react without thinking. You want to attack. You want to do something you think you shouldn't. At the same time you want to hold back. Your emotion is strong. Your mind, and sometimes your body, goes out of control. You know reacting could make things worse, but you hardly care. Someone or something has seriously affected you, and your reaction is to cause an even greater effect in return.

What causes anger:

Although it is sometimes hard to believe, you are the only cause of your anger. No one else makes you angry. When people do certain things your reaction is to get angry. You're the one who gets yourself angry, and you can get yourself un-angry.

How do you get angry?

When you feel that your life is too far out of your control, it's easy to get angry. When you let life get out of your control, that's even worse. If you flare up and act out your feeling it puts your life life even more out of your control. The more it happens, the harder it is to deal with and the more defensive you feel. One thing builds on another.

When anger continues:

If you remain angry about something hours or days after it is over, or if you keep getting angry about the same thing over and over, you are in serious trouble. It is your life that you are ruining.

There are may ways of dealing with anger. Let's start by looking at the basic problem.

Why "Anger Management” Doesn't Work

Actually, anger management does work, but it is often unsuccessful. The problem is that clients seldom use what they are taught and react regardless of what they are taught. Why is that?

The client is ALREADY trying desperately to control himself. He wants to fight, maim, get revenge, and he is desperately holding himself back. Caregivers see that all the time. He is in a delicate balance of "urge to fight" and "urge to flee" (or at least restrain his actions). That is why the blowups happen. Something triggers him, disturbs the balance, and he acts out. He explodes, and then goes back to restraining himself again. And the cycle continues.

"Anger Management" teaches him dozens of ways to restrain himself, but the environment is right there ready to upset his balance at any moment.

Without venting his urge to act (on whatever he is upset by) he will continue to remain on that edge. Thus, our interactive First-Aid SELF HELP processes focus on dissipating the anger rather than managing it.

UNDERSTANDING IS IMPORTANT

Anger is the most self destructive emotion. However, it’s possible to purge your anger and put joy and enthusiasm in it's place. But you have to work at it.

Know yourself, know your abilities, and learn more. Keeping your life in order will help you keep your cool.

But, when something seems to be "too much", "overwhelms you", or "sets you off", you need to inspect the underlying facts. Something happened, and then YOU reacted. Understanding fully why you reacted is the medicine. It's the kind of medicine you'll like.

To find out more and/or do something about it

we seriously suggest that you look at

“Managing Anger” or “Anger First Aid”.

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